Retention Kernel Studio | Featurekernelbase

What you leave with

Learning outcomes

A ledger of no more than eighteen kernels, each with an English claim and an owner.
A written rule for promoting, renaming, or killing an event after the studio ends.
A retention narrative that separates census metrics from sampled ones.
A stakeholder readout you can deliver without the instructor in the room.
A known-lies appendix covering consent, identity delay, and platform drift.
The discipline to refuse vanity events that share a kernel’s name.

Modules

The sixteen weeks

Weeks 01–02

Inventory without mercy

You arrive with the live catalogue. We count, cluster, and mark events that cannot be explained in a sentence. No new instrumentation is allowed.

Weeks 03–05

Kernel selection

Activation, habit, paid value, and churn warning. Four families, not forty. You will argue in writing why a candidate deserves a row in the ledger.

Weeks 06–08

Property bible

Enums, null policy, and the difference between a user property and an event property. Engineering joins for one critique so the bible is implementable.

Weeks 09–11

Curves as arguments

Cohort construction, windowing, and the temptation to smooth. You write the paragraph that must sit under every retention chart you will ever present.

Weeks 12–14

Platform weather

iOS ATT, Android background limits, web-to-app, and the lies that appear when you union those series. The Dacre Banks day sits here.

Weeks 15–16

Readout and residual

You present to your own stakeholders. We grade the residual: what remains unexplained, and whether you admitted it.

Instructor

Amrita Cole

Amrita spent nine years inside a Leeds fintech measurement team, the last four as the person who had to sign off any number that left the building. She joined Featurekernelbase in 2022 because vendor workshops kept teaching the interface and skipping the sentence. She still writes the property bibles herself.

Guest readers rotate: a Glasgow publisher’s data lead, a London health-app privacy counsel. Amrita remains the through-line.

Fee (informational)

Kernel Chamber · £4,680

The figure covers six seats sharing one catalogue — typically a PM, an analyst, and an engineer, with three flexible. Travel to Dacre Banks is not included. VAT is added where it applies. There is no checkout on this site; acceptance follows a written exchange. Full comparison on fees. Timing rules on refunds.

Questions we actually get

FAQ

Must we freeze all new events for sixteen weeks?

Only the first fortnight is a hard freeze. After that, new events may enter a quarantine list. They do not join the kernel row until they have an owner and a lie. Shipping product does not stop; vanity tracking does.

What if our SDK cannot support the property bible?

Then the bible records that limitation. We do not invent fields the pipeline cannot carry. Several teams leave with a shorter ledger than they wanted, which is preferable to a fictional one.

A real limitation you should know before you write

This studio will not make a sparse, poorly instrumented app look healthy. If your event volume is too low to support weekly cohorts, we will say so in week two and recommend pausing. We have done that twice. Fees for those seats followed the refund policy; we do not pretend critique can invent sample size.

Do you teach a specific analytics vendor?

No. Examples wander across tools because the ledger has to outlive whichever contract you sign next. If your team needs vendor certification, this is the wrong room.

From previous chambers

“Week four of Kernel Selection was the first time our engineer and I agreed on what ‘activated’ meant. We had been reporting it for two years.”

“The Dacre Banks day is long. Bring better shoes than I did. The property bible we finished on the train home is still the document we argue from.”

4 ★★★★☆ · “Amrita is precise to the point of being tiring. That is also why our board pack finally has a caveats paragraph that is not decorative.”

Bring the embarrassing catalogue.

Places for the autumn chamber are considered from written notes, not from a form that takes a card.

Write to Amrita’s studio